By Brandon Allen of New Work Revolution
Ever feel like you are repeating yourself endlessly to a team member? In working with a client recently, this is the exact issue they were having with a less experienced team member. It’s a scenario that most of us, who have been in management, know all too well.
I asked my client to tell me about how a typical interaction with the employee goes. The manager mentioned that the employee repeatedly says that they don’t feel heard and understood and the client responds to that by repeating the same solution they have already given several times.
Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result is something we have all been guilty of. The results don’t seem to love us the way we love this strategy for doing things.
There are two challenges my client ran into, a lack of active listening and the inability to remove their ego from the employee’s behavior. The client was frustrated with the repetition while the employee didn’t feel listened to.
Solving a problem is a two-way street. A big part of that process is listening. I don’t know what happens to people when they get put in a position of power but it causes their brain to turn into overdrive and their ears to shrink. The employee, in the case of my client, gave some hints that there was an issue with communication but my client ran right over it. It’s essential for leaders to treat their team like the experts in the challenges they are facing vs. acting like they have to have all the answers because they are the leader.
“It’s essential for leaders to treat their team like the experts in the challenges they are facing vs. acting like they have to have all the answers because they are the leader.”
When it comes to great listening, it’s important to slow down and be present which is hard in a busy world. By being present, you can notice queues that employees give you in the course of a conversation that will help you get to the root of a recurring issue that you are facing.
On the second point, the manager felt like their employee was being disrespectful. I hear this a lot. Rarely is a team member’s poor performance personal. A mental model called Hanlon’s Razor says, “never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.” Your team has many reasons why they may struggle to perform; personal insult is rarely one of them.
People are put into leadership positions because they demonstrate a high level of competency in a certain area. This tends to breed ego which causes them to take employee behavior personally or see it as an indictment of their leadership. This creates a self-focused relationship that kills your ability to connect with your employees and their challenges.
As I discussed this issue with my client, they agreed to have a follow up conversation where the employee did most of the talking and they agreed to be present and listen. The result was that the employee finally felt heard and they were able to come to some different approaches to getting the results they were looking for.
When I discuss this with leaders, they typically lament the amount of time that having a conversation with a little more depth will take. In the long run, slowing down with people can get you to where you want to be much quicker. If you are a leader who values their team and their results, this type of conversation will make you more effective and efficient as a leader.
Back to you, what can you do to better engage your team when performance issues come up?
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